I have been scared of this part for many reasons. Namely, that I am not a parent (kind of big, considering the topic) and that talking about this extremely broad subject in a meaningful way--in a relatively small space--is really hard.
But many of you are parents (or will be), so I felt it was important to discuss parenting, especially since video games are growing in popularity—so much so that I am willing to bet that your son or daughter will be a gamer in some form or fashion.
So what do you do with everything that we talked about thus far?
Well, that is partly up for you to decide: boundaries, time limit, etc. However, if you are to raise us kids (I’m still a kid, right? Humor me, please) in a Christian home, then there needs to be…something…
Let’s look at Ecclesiastes. Specifically, 4:9-12.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (ESV).
I tend to hear this passage quoted in weddings. Usually the preacher says that the husband and wife are now together to “lift up his fellow,” and to “withstand.” Further, by adding Christ to the marriage, you then create a cord of three, which helps solidify the bond.
I think it applies to family, too.
In my scenario, you have the parents (which should be one entity, as discussed in the romance post… Shameless plug, go back and read that), the children, and of course, Christ. In a perfect world, this cord of three lifts each other up and “is not easily broken.” But obviously, there are broken families all around. But that doesn't mean we can't strive for this strong cord!
There are many opinions on parents and video games floating about the web—some good and others not-so-good. Here is one of the better ones I found:
But many of you are parents (or will be), so I felt it was important to discuss parenting, especially since video games are growing in popularity—so much so that I am willing to bet that your son or daughter will be a gamer in some form or fashion.
So what do you do with everything that we talked about thus far?
Well, that is partly up for you to decide: boundaries, time limit, etc. However, if you are to raise us kids (I’m still a kid, right? Humor me, please) in a Christian home, then there needs to be…something…
Let’s look at Ecclesiastes. Specifically, 4:9-12.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (ESV).
I tend to hear this passage quoted in weddings. Usually the preacher says that the husband and wife are now together to “lift up his fellow,” and to “withstand.” Further, by adding Christ to the marriage, you then create a cord of three, which helps solidify the bond.
I think it applies to family, too.
In my scenario, you have the parents (which should be one entity, as discussed in the romance post… Shameless plug, go back and read that), the children, and of course, Christ. In a perfect world, this cord of three lifts each other up and “is not easily broken.” But obviously, there are broken families all around. But that doesn't mean we can't strive for this strong cord!
There are many opinions on parents and video games floating about the web—some good and others not-so-good. Here is one of the better ones I found:
I think there is something biblical about meeting your kid where they are at. In some sense, I believe that is part of what makes the video about the elders at the beginning so adorable. These people are out of their comfort zone, but they are willing to “stoop to our level,” so to speak. If that means picking up a controller and bumbling around in a state of utter confusion, then maybe that is what needs to happen.
My mom did that once. She played Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. She didn’t get past the tutorial, and she had no idea what was going on; it probably didn’t help that my sister and I were laughing at her atrocious skills as the game went on.
But she was willing to try it, and looking back, I am touched she was willing to go that far out of her comfort zone and humble herself.
So much humbling… oops.
If you don’t feel comfortable, I’d say it is just as powerful to watch and take an interest in their hobbies (if they let you; some gamers wouldn’t want a parent looking over their shoulder).
This also dispels some of the mysteriousness of video games. Like I said in the introduction to the blog, Harry Potter, Dungeons & Dragons, and Jazz music were more or less shunned before Christians truly knew what they were.
I believe that if you take the time to research and try to understand video games (or really anything), then you not only avoid judging anything prematurely but you also can give a more refined argument to your child on why you forbid it.
There are many sources for you to see what a game is about without having to play it yourself. First, you have the ESRB (http://www.esrb.org/), which rates the games E (Everyone), T (Teen), M (Mature, 18+) and AO (Adults Only). Further, on the back of each video game box (in the bottom right corner), the ESRB explains why the game got the rating it did. PLEASE USE THIS! I cannot tell you how many times I have seen parents shrug their shoulders in GameStop and end up buying their 8 year-old son something they should not be playing. That’s like taking them to see the Deadpool movie because they said it was about superheroes. Just take a minute to look at the back of the box, please! At that age, your child is still figuring out what is reality and what is fantasy and exposing them to something too soon can be dangerous.
You can also go to YouTube, and watch gameplay of the game or watch reviews before you buy it.
You can also contact me and ask. I’d rather you go to me then, say, a store employee, who may stretch the truth to make a sale (or not share your Christian values).
Please, by all means, come to me if you are unsure! I will be more than happy to give you as much info as you need on a game!
I’m serious…here is my email: [email protected]
My mom did that once. She played Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. She didn’t get past the tutorial, and she had no idea what was going on; it probably didn’t help that my sister and I were laughing at her atrocious skills as the game went on.
But she was willing to try it, and looking back, I am touched she was willing to go that far out of her comfort zone and humble herself.
So much humbling… oops.
If you don’t feel comfortable, I’d say it is just as powerful to watch and take an interest in their hobbies (if they let you; some gamers wouldn’t want a parent looking over their shoulder).
This also dispels some of the mysteriousness of video games. Like I said in the introduction to the blog, Harry Potter, Dungeons & Dragons, and Jazz music were more or less shunned before Christians truly knew what they were.
I believe that if you take the time to research and try to understand video games (or really anything), then you not only avoid judging anything prematurely but you also can give a more refined argument to your child on why you forbid it.
There are many sources for you to see what a game is about without having to play it yourself. First, you have the ESRB (http://www.esrb.org/), which rates the games E (Everyone), T (Teen), M (Mature, 18+) and AO (Adults Only). Further, on the back of each video game box (in the bottom right corner), the ESRB explains why the game got the rating it did. PLEASE USE THIS! I cannot tell you how many times I have seen parents shrug their shoulders in GameStop and end up buying their 8 year-old son something they should not be playing. That’s like taking them to see the Deadpool movie because they said it was about superheroes. Just take a minute to look at the back of the box, please! At that age, your child is still figuring out what is reality and what is fantasy and exposing them to something too soon can be dangerous.
You can also go to YouTube, and watch gameplay of the game or watch reviews before you buy it.
You can also contact me and ask. I’d rather you go to me then, say, a store employee, who may stretch the truth to make a sale (or not share your Christian values).
Please, by all means, come to me if you are unsure! I will be more than happy to give you as much info as you need on a game!
I’m serious…here is my email: [email protected]
Alright, kids…your turn!
Oh, you thought you were going to get a pass, did ya? Not a chance! You have just as much responsibility as your parents!
As a matter of fact, there’s a commandment God instituted back in the day which says “To Honor thy Father and Mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12, ESV).
You may have heard of it…
You may have rolled your eyes at it…a few times…daily...
But that doesn’t make it any less valid. If your parents don’t allow you to play a certain game—or games in general—it is better for you to honor that, regardless if you agree with it or not.
But what about your friend’s parents? I’ve been on both sides: my parents have forbid certain games but allowed others, whereas some of my friends were forbidden the very ones I was allowed to play.
What do we do there?
Remember earlier when we discussed violence and Paul’s advice regarding food offered to idols (look at that, it is all tying together! What a crazy coincidence)? We can’t let our brother stumble. We need to do our best to let our friends honor their father and mother.
Most of the time, this simply means respecting their house rules, whatever that entails.
But there may be another way…
I was in 5th grade when Halo: Combat Evolved came out. It was instantly a classic. Everyone was talking about it! My sister could play it, but I could not. I was too young…
One day, all of my sister’s friends came over bringing several Xboxes. They were going to have a huge Halo party in my house! Naturally, there was an odd amount of people, meaning they wanted me to play as well!
But…but…it is rated M! I’m not old enough to play an M-rated game! My parents would certainly catch me disobeying their wishes…in our own house, no less!
My sister’s friends didn’t go behind my parent’s back! Not at all! Instead, they asked my mom politely and brought her upstairs to show her the game!
They showed her everything!!!
The violence, the blood, the aliens, Cortana, the flood, all of it! They even showed her the thing where if you melee a dead elite over and over, blood will spew out and eventually lag the game because of how much is being rendered!
To be honest, this is one of my fondest memories. Not only did they want to include me, but they also were willing to include my parents! No shady acts, no hiding the game behind their backs, nothing.
In many ways, this may be why Halo holds such a special place in my heart. It was the catalyst that showed me the beauty of friendship. Specifically, when friendship exerts honesty, respect, and grace toward other households.
This is also why I didn’t want to sugar-coat anything in this blog. I was blessed when friends showed my parents the worst a game had to offer, so I hope this blog reciprocates.
So to recap, I believe that parents and kids need to lift each other up (please), listen to each other (please), honor each other (please), and keep Christ in the center of the relationship (pretty please), then hopefully, at the very least, video games won’t be a point of contention in the family.
I apologize if this all feels theoretical. There are just too many factors within a family to keep it universal. Plus, as of now, I've only been on one end of the spectrum. I've never had to be a parent yet, but I have seen how difficult it can be. So ideally, I hope I have at least given you a few ideas on how to make a cord of three, so your family hopefully won’t be easily broken over something as small as video games.
Oh, you thought you were going to get a pass, did ya? Not a chance! You have just as much responsibility as your parents!
As a matter of fact, there’s a commandment God instituted back in the day which says “To Honor thy Father and Mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12, ESV).
You may have heard of it…
You may have rolled your eyes at it…a few times…daily...
But that doesn’t make it any less valid. If your parents don’t allow you to play a certain game—or games in general—it is better for you to honor that, regardless if you agree with it or not.
But what about your friend’s parents? I’ve been on both sides: my parents have forbid certain games but allowed others, whereas some of my friends were forbidden the very ones I was allowed to play.
What do we do there?
Remember earlier when we discussed violence and Paul’s advice regarding food offered to idols (look at that, it is all tying together! What a crazy coincidence)? We can’t let our brother stumble. We need to do our best to let our friends honor their father and mother.
Most of the time, this simply means respecting their house rules, whatever that entails.
But there may be another way…
I was in 5th grade when Halo: Combat Evolved came out. It was instantly a classic. Everyone was talking about it! My sister could play it, but I could not. I was too young…
One day, all of my sister’s friends came over bringing several Xboxes. They were going to have a huge Halo party in my house! Naturally, there was an odd amount of people, meaning they wanted me to play as well!
But…but…it is rated M! I’m not old enough to play an M-rated game! My parents would certainly catch me disobeying their wishes…in our own house, no less!
My sister’s friends didn’t go behind my parent’s back! Not at all! Instead, they asked my mom politely and brought her upstairs to show her the game!
They showed her everything!!!
The violence, the blood, the aliens, Cortana, the flood, all of it! They even showed her the thing where if you melee a dead elite over and over, blood will spew out and eventually lag the game because of how much is being rendered!
To be honest, this is one of my fondest memories. Not only did they want to include me, but they also were willing to include my parents! No shady acts, no hiding the game behind their backs, nothing.
In many ways, this may be why Halo holds such a special place in my heart. It was the catalyst that showed me the beauty of friendship. Specifically, when friendship exerts honesty, respect, and grace toward other households.
This is also why I didn’t want to sugar-coat anything in this blog. I was blessed when friends showed my parents the worst a game had to offer, so I hope this blog reciprocates.
So to recap, I believe that parents and kids need to lift each other up (please), listen to each other (please), honor each other (please), and keep Christ in the center of the relationship (pretty please), then hopefully, at the very least, video games won’t be a point of contention in the family.
I apologize if this all feels theoretical. There are just too many factors within a family to keep it universal. Plus, as of now, I've only been on one end of the spectrum. I've never had to be a parent yet, but I have seen how difficult it can be. So ideally, I hope I have at least given you a few ideas on how to make a cord of three, so your family hopefully won’t be easily broken over something as small as video games.
Wow! We’re almost to the end! Thank you for your attention thus far! Alright! One more Case Study, then on to the close we go!